Quantity or Quality…
Been talking to a few different people over the last few days about friends, and friendship groups. I used to be someone who had a lot of friends that I caught up with on a regular basis. I loved it but it also took a lot of time and work and even though it was mostly very pleasant, it’s not sustainable on a long-term basis.
Over the last 8 years a LOT has changed in my life and in my circles… they changed completely actually… Learnt some long painful lessons but these were very valuable. You see I was under the delusion that people care more than they actually do… I know it’s not always the case but its the truth. And it takes something painful to realise and acknowledge that this is a fact.
I was involved with a large group of people and I always loved connection, encouraging others, helping people find their place etc and so I THOUGHT that I had a lot of friends. In actuality I had a LOT of acquaintanceship’s! In fact when the rubber hit the road, and it came to the crunch, the people who I thought were my friends were not there for me in anywhere near the capacity that I thought they would be. I was completely shocked, let down and disappointed.
Its ok! I look back now and I get it, and its part of being involved in large groups, it’s just part of the way they function. it was me just naively hoping and expecting for more because that is how I operate… I want to be genuine, that’s how I do life… in a genuine way. I don’t like superficiality, I am not just talking about conversations I am talking about depth of friendship, quality of friendship. If I am your friend then that means more to me than hearing from you every blue moon. You don’t have to live in anyone’s pockets but the contact is very regular and its special, its sincere and meaningful… otherwise I wouldn’t call you friend.
In the last 12 months though the amount of people in my life increased dramatically! Of course through Facebook and my FB pages Light for Life, Loving Without Expectations and The Answer I’ve Found… I don’t make friends with all my fans or it would become not meaningful for the people who really are in my life but from time to time, I interact with someone on my page to the point that I think we must be meant to be friends, I usually find out there is a reason that we needed to become friends… either for my sake or theirs, and then its even more special and rewarding.
I am thankful for the circle of friends in my life that has DECREASED! Decreased to a manageable number that I can love and share with properly. I know I cant be there for each of the way that I would like for all of them but at least now I know what I need to do for most of them. Whether it’s a phone call, a gift, a quick email, if they are local then a catch up but its good when you can learn the boundaries, expectations and protocol for each relationship, and they are different for all…
Finding what works for you in your life is the first thing and then finding the people who slot comfortably within that is the way to go… There are good dynamics and they are there for a reason… When our lives, thoughts, beliefs and morale’s resonate with other human beings then we have the makings of a successful partnership for the common good of all! Sometimes difficult people are also meant to be in your life, after all it’s not all going to be easy or maybe we would be in heaven but if something really is a LOT of hard work then in the end you have to begin to question its purpose and future!
Surely its better to have one amazing friend then 10 average ones! Think about this and put your life and circles into perspective!
If you would like to read more please go and visit my Facebook pages:
Light for Life: https://www.facebook.com/lightforlifepage
Love Without Expectations: https://www.facebook.com/lovewithoutexpectationspage
The Answer I’ve Found: https://www.facebook.com/theanswerIvefound