Again I haven’ blogged for a while but I have been feeling drawn to blogging. I started writing a blog and then I started another one and I have decided to go with this second blog article as it just flowed right out of me…
Hope you get something out of it =)
Grief is not just about death. I think grief is about loss, loss comes in many forms and it robs us in so many ways of so many things. Sometimes grief doesn’t show itself till later. As I said grief is always about loss and so sometimes it takes time for us to realise that loss has occurred as loss can camouflage itself in many different ways.
Grief may not be clearly present until you realise that you have lost something , but once you realise, then this is where you can begin to deal with and work through loss…
Acknowledging grief is the first part of working through it, much like admitting that you are an alcoholic is the first part to working through that…
I was thinking this week that one way that we are robbed and experience loss in life is through sickness and disease. Sickness and disease affects so many people in profound ways and each of us is touched by it in some way. I have quite a few people around me that have different and quite debilitating sickness and diseases and when the people you are close to suffer through these, it affects them and when it affects them it affects you, and when it affects you it often causes loss to occur.
Diseases rob people of their physical health but also their mental health, and no one is immune from the effects of mental health. Mental health affects people like passive smoking affects all those who come in contact with the smoke.
We all want good things for our kids, and when things don’t work out how we thought it might for them, that is another time that grief and loss affects us. Loss is usually about things that we can’t change and this is one of those areas. When our children are small we can do what we can to help them through but once they are older our hands are more and more progressively taken off control of the things they suffer with, and when these things also involve sickness or disease then there is more loss there.
I had a dream for my boys when they were little, it’s an automatic reaction, you hope for this and that, and how things will turn out for them but this is never guaranteed. One of my sons was born with a disability which has affected him in a LOT of ways and has prevented and also caused SO much trauma and problems and losses in his life that I never imagined for him or for me or us. My other son was recently diagnosed with ADHD and this is another disease that robs people, of freedom to be, do, and have in so many ways too… Not much can change in just these two examples in my life.
Many people suffer from depression etc and this is another huge one to rob and steal from us and this also causes loss in the person affected too and also all those around that are affected through it. And then there is my precious mum who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease only a few short years ago, and at the age of 74 she has had much robbed from her mentally, and therefore so have I…. The grief that this causes me at times is immense, it comes and goes, and shocks me… its unimaginable to be going through this for her…
I was praying over these situations this week… I was feeling a bit of sadness over them and as I did I heard God remind me that he has carried not only my sins but also sickness and disease and in Is 54:3 it says:
“He is despised and rejected of men; a Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as it were a hiding of faces from Him, He being despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted”
I love it when God connects those dots for me and so he reminded me in my sadness and recognition of loss that he was a ‘man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief’. What he was telling me is that He is there with me, I am not alone, he carries my pains and he is working on them…. He ‘gets’ me!
I am not alone in my grief, and you don’t need to be either. We can lean on Him when we are not strong. He is more than able to carry us, hold us and see us through. And if things don’t change, the good thing is that neither will he either….
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